Talking with children about social media

Having listened to a recent 'Diary of a CEO' podcast, where Steven Bartlett interviewed social psychologist Jonathan Haidt and Dr Aditi Nerurkar, I have realised the risk is not just about what children are seeing online, but also about the cumulative impact of how they are consuming it.

In a nutshell, both speakers describe the use of short form videos (those short stories or reels we can access on platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube that last less than a minute) as having a negative effect on stress levels, attention spans, complex problem-solving skills and relationships in children. These issues led Dr Aditi describing it as ’less social and more anti-social media’!

The ‘doomscroll’ that as adults we can easily get caught in, is even harder for children to say no to. The reward of the quick dopamine hit that is gifted via short form videos means children are not being taught the link between hard work and reward. The speakers described how short form videos are designed to be addictive, and algorithms are designed to grab our desires leading to weakened impulse control and reduced thinking ability.

As adults and those in roles where we seek to safeguarding children, what can we do about this? Of course, real responsibility lies with tech companies to make their platforms safe, but given the huge profits generated by short-form content, meaningful voluntary change seems unlikely.

One positive step forward came in January 2026, when the House of Lords voted to amend the Children’s Wellbeing and Schools Bill to strengthen online protections for children. The amendment seeks to introduce a requirement for robust age-assurance measures to prevent under-16s from accessing social media platforms. Additional wider proposals are being explored including overnight curfews and mandatory breaks to reduce doomscrolling which is great to hear but will surely take some time.

In the meantime, my focus will be on supporting children (and parents) to reduce their use of short form videos and mind-numbing doomscrolling. It feels unrealistic for adults to attempt to ban these behaviours outright given how embedded they are in the lives of children, but beginning the conversation about its impact seems a great place to start. Helping children reflect and explore how they feel after scrolling for a long time, introducing them to how algorithms work and gently encouraging them to notice patterns in their moods or behaviours linked to screen use might help support healthier usage.

Also co-creating whole-family agreements about device use can help. Sitting down together to agree device-free bedtimes, realistic time limits and “no-scroll” spaces such as the dinner table makes expectations clearer and more shared. These conversations move these boundaries away from feeling like a punishment to feeling more collective in their design.

Perhaps the hardest part (definitely for me) is recognising that we have to lead by example. If we are asking children to put their phones away, we have to be willing to do the same and if we’re asking children to reduce screen time, we need to help fill the space that scrolling leaves behind. That means offering alternatives, planning activities and probably being more available. I know from bitter experience that this is much easier said than done, but we can’t continue with the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ approach as the research clearly tells us this isn’t working!

Find out more about our online safety resources and information for DSLs.

About the author: Sophie Baker is a senior social work leader with over 20 years experience in frontline and practice development roles.