Supporting students who are questioning their gender

Schools and colleges are increasingly supporting students who are questioning their gender. While every student's experience is unique, educational settings have an important role in providing a safe, respectful and supportive environment, while ensuring that safeguarding remains at the centre of decision-making.

KCSiE 2026 emphasises that schools and colleges should not initiate conversations about social transition or encourage a particular pathway. Settings should respond thoughtfully when a student or their parent requests support with gender or gender questioning, taking time to understand the individuals’ unique circumstances. They should also consider students immediate and past wellbeing and any wider factors that may be influencing their experiences.

It is important to recognise that it is common for students of all ages to explore interests, behaviours and forms of self-expression that may not align with traditional gender stereotypes. This could be by dressing a certain way or taking an interest in something not typically associated with one gender.

For some students, questions about gender may be temporary, while for others these feelings may continue or intensify over time. Schools and colleges should remain professionally curious about the student's wider experiences and consider whether there may be additional vulnerabilities or support needs such as:

• Mental health concerns

• Neurodiversity

• Family relationship difficulties

• Peer relationship challenges

• Experiences of bullying or discrimination

• Social or environmental pressures

When a request relating to social transition is made, safeguarding should be the primary consideration. Schools and colleges must consider the best interests of the student alongside the needs and welfare of other students who may be affected by any decision. KCSiE highlights that supporting social transition is not a neutral action and should be viewed as an active intervention. Decisions should therefore be made carefully, with appropriate professional input and robust record keeping.

Parents and carers play a central role in decisions affecting their children. In most situations, schools and colleges should involve parents as soon as possible when a student requests support relating to gender questioning. Open and constructive dialogue between families and educational settings is often the most effective way of ensuring that decisions are made in the student's best interests. Where appropriate, schools may support conversations between students and parents or offer a trusted member of staff to facilitate or mediate emotive discussions. The only exception to this is where involving parents could potentially place the student at greater risk of harm, in which case safeguarding procedures should be followed immediately.

However, it will not be uncommon for a student to ask that parents or carers are not told that they are questioning their gender. Settings should ensure that they explore the reasons for this request with sensitivity and professional curiosity. Staff should think about whether this is due to any safeguarding concerns, fears, family tensions or other vulnerabilities. While a student’s wishes should be listened to and respected, staff should not agree or make any promises to keep the information secret. Any decisions about sharing information with parents should be made on a case-by-case basis, informed by safeguarding considerations, the student's age and circumstances, and the potential risks of both sharing and not sharing information.

Schools and colleges should be particularly mindful of students who are living "in stealth", where their peers and, in some cases, members of staff may be unaware of their biological sex. These students may experience heightened anxiety, particularly as they approach puberty, and may face additional safeguarding vulnerabilities relating to privacy, relationships, identity, attendance, mental health and participation in school life.

Any concerns regarding a student living in stealth should be discussed with the DSL to ensure that risks are carefully assessed, and appropriate support is in place. Schools and colleges should ensure that accurate records are maintained, relevant staff have access to information necessary to fulfil their safeguarding responsibilities and support plans are regularly reviewed. Above all, schools should create a supportive environment in which students feel safe, respected and able to seek help if their circumstances or needs change.

Schools and colleges should promote an environment where all students are treated with dignity and respect. It should be widely promoted that everyone has the right to feel safe, valued and able to access education without fear of ridicule or exclusion. Policies should avoid unnecessary gender stereotypes or language and allow flexibility wherever possible. At the same time, educational settings must maintain a strong stance against bullying, harassment or discrimination related to gender identity, expression or questioning.

Settings must also recognise that respectful curiosity and age-appropriate questioning are a natural part of learning, especially for younger students. They may ask questions about gender identity, appearances, beliefs or experiences in order to better understand others. There is also an element that neurodiverse students may ask quite direct questions in order to understand something. This can sometimes come across as confrontational, insensitive or be misconstrued. However, these moments can support education, empathy and inclusion when managed appropriately. The focus should therefore be on addressing language or behaviour that is deliberately harmful or discriminatory, rather than discouraging thoughtful and respectful discussionbetween peers and staff.

Some students may later wish to reverse or alter previous requests regarding social transition. Schools and colleges should recognise that exploration and change are a normal part of development for some young people. Where a student wishes to detransition or amend previous arrangements, schools should work closely with parents, carers and relevant professionals to provide supportive, non-judgmental guidance and ensure the student's wellbeing remains the priority.

Students who are questioning their gender require understanding, patience and support. Schools and colleges should respond with compassion and professionalism, ensuring that safeguarding, parental involvement, careful decision-making and the wellbeing of all students remain at the heart of their approach.

Here are some practical support measures for settings:

1. Keep safeguarding at the centre

• Ensure all decisions are based on the student's welfare and best interests.

• Involve the DSL in any decisions relating to support or social transition.

• Consider wider factors including mental health, neurodiversity, family circumstances and peer relationships.

2. Listen and understand

• Create opportunities for students to talk openly about their feelings.

• Be professionally curious and explore the wider context of their experiences.

• Avoid making assumptions or rushing to conclusions or labelling it as a “phase” or “fad”.

3. Involve parents and carers

• Work closely with parents and carers wherever it is safe and appropriate to do so.

• Offer support to facilitate constructive conversations between students and families.

• Clearly explain the school's role, responsibilities and any limitations.

• Be prepared that some families will show a range of emotion from support to anger to upset and be sure to validate these.

4. Create a culture of respect

• Promote kindness, inclusion and respect throughout the school or college.

• Challenge gender stereotypes and encourage students to express themselves safely.

• Ensure all students understand that bullying and discrimination will not be tolerated.

5. Have robust anti-bullying procedures

• Ensure policies specifically reference bullying related to gender identity, gender expression and perceived differences.

• Respond promptly to concerns and record actions taken.

• Regularly review trends and patterns to identify emerging issues.

6. Consider inclusive facilities

• Provide access to private or inclusive toilet facilities that any student can choose to use that are not operated with a key system.

• Consider individual cubicles and floor-to-ceiling privacy where possible.

• Ensure students do not feel singled out when using alternative facilities.

7. Use inclusive language

• Encourage staff to use inclusive language such as "students," "everyone," or "young people" rather than unnecessarily gendered terms.

• Consider asking all students how they wish to be addressed at the start of programmes or courses where appropriate.

• Promote respectful communication throughout the setting.

8. Consider pronoun practices carefully

• Some schools and colleges choose to normalise sharing pronouns in introductions, email signatures, badges or staff profiles so that no individual feels singled out.

• Ensure any approach is voluntary, respectful and consistent with the setting's policies, safeguarding responsibilities and legal duties.

• Support staff to understand how to manage differing views while maintaining a safe and respectful environment for everyone.

• Consider each student's individual circumstances and avoid assumptions about their wishes or needs.

9. Provide staff training

• Train staff on safeguarding, gender-questioning students, child development, mental health and effective communication.

• Ensure staff understand relevant guidance, reporting pathways and record-keeping expectations.

• Include scenario-based discussions to build confidence in responding to concerns.

• Ensure staff understand the difference between secrecy and confidentiality when it comes to a student who may be transitioning in “stealth”.

10. Work with specialist professionals

• Seek support from educational psychologists, mental health practitioners, SEND teams or other professionals where appropriate.

• Ensure decisions are informed by relevant expertise rather than being made in isolation.

11. Maintain clear records

• Document requests, discussions, decisions, risk assessments and review dates.

• Keep records secure and ensure key safeguarding staff are aware of relevant information.

• Review arrangements regularly.

12. Keep support flexible

• Recognise that students' feelings and circumstances may change over time.

• Create opportunities to review support plans and adapt them when needed.

• Support students who wish to reconsider or change previous requests without judgement.

13. Promote belonging and inclusion

• Embed inclusion through assemblies, PSHE/RSE, enrichment activities and student voice groups.

• Celebrate diversity in a way that helps all students feel represented and valued.

• Foster a culture where students can safely seek help when they need it.

Supporting a student who is questioning their gender requires schools and colleges to balance compassion with careful professional judgement, with safeguarding considerations remaining key. There is rarely a one-size-fits-all response and settings should take an individualised approach that considers the student's needs, wellbeing, wider vulnerabilities and the potential impact of any decisions on others within the school community.

By creating a culture of dignity, respect and open communication, educational settings can ensure that all students feel safe, supported and able to access education free from bullying, discrimination or unnecessary barriers. Ultimately, the goal is not to determine a student's identity, but to promote their welfare, protect them from harm and help them thrive during what may be a complex and challenging period of their lives.

Visit our new Supporting children who are questioning their gender in schools and colleges information page.

About the author: Melissa Pollard is a Designated Safeguarding Lead with 20 years experience in education and children's mental health.