Safeguarding students – Talking about consent and why it matters

Life is tricky to navigate for young people at present, particularly at secondary school and college age and there are many myths about consent in relationships, often highlighted in news articles. Actually, consent is straightforward: young people engaging in sexual activity should have no doubt about the enthusiastic consent of their partner. Where there is doubt, where people change their mind, where there is pressure, this is not consent. We need to find ways to work with our students to create strong and equal cultures where these conversations can happen.

The NSPCC defines consent as actively saying yes, using both words and body language. It acknowledges that it can be complex and sometimes it can be hard for a young person to recognise what is okay and what is not. Schools should play an important and active role ensure the message about consent is embedded in our curriculums and safeguarding culture within our schools.

Here is how you can ensure that message is clear and age appropriate:

• Explaining that consent in any type of relationship is about feeling in control. When a young person says yes or agrees to any kind of sexual activity it should be an active choice and not something that happens because of pressure or coercion.

• Informing them that sexual activity can be in person or online. Sharing photos, use of webcams or social media/chatrooms to engage in sexual conversations is all classed as sexual activity and consent applies to these too.

• Teaching them that consent to sexual activity means actively saying yes, using both words and body language. If the other person's body language and behaviour change, then they should stop and check that the other person is happy to continue.

• Reinforcing that a partner has a right to change their mind at any point, even if they agreed to the sexual activity when it began or if they have engaged in it previously.

• Understanding that some children including those with SEND may need additional information and adapted curriculums to ensure they can access the same important messages. Pupils with SEND are some of the most vulnerable when it comes to needing to understand consent and how to give it, and more importantly how to withdraw it.

Talking about consent cannot and should not be a one-off lesson or a conversation reserved for older students. It should be embedded throughout a setting's safeguarding culture, education and daily interactions with young people.

Here are some examples of how this could be done:

• Exploring real-life scenarios and case studies

• Analysing media messages about relationships

• Discussing the concept of enthusiastic consent through role-play activities

• Using classroom debates to challenge common misconceptions

• The use of anonymous question boxes

• Peer discussions and reflective exercises to help students explore boundaries, communication and respect in a safe and age-appropriate way

• For pupils with SEND, the use of visual resources, social stories and adapted scenarios can support understanding

• Resources about consent can be found here on the NSPCC website.

By creating these safe spaces for discussion, delivering inclusive and age-appropriate education, and ensuring staff are confident to address these issues, schools can help young people develop healthy relationship behaviours that will support them throughout their lives.

Ultimately, understanding consent is not just about preventing harm. It is about empowering children to build relationships based on respect, equality, communication and trust. This will enable them to recognise and report when something does not feel right to a trusted adult without fear of blame or judgement.

About the author: Melissa Pollard is a Designated Safeguarding Lead with 20 years experience in education and children's mental health.