Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can seriously damage a child’s health and development. Children who are emotionally abused may also experience other forms of abuse at the same time. Every parent/carer gets things wrong from time to time, but repeated emotionally harmful behaviours, such as those described further down this page, are abusive.

Emotional abuse may involve communicating to children that they are worthless, inadequate or unloved, including not giving them the opportunities to express their views, deliberately silencing them or ‘making fun’ of what they say or how they communicate. It may include imposing unreasonable expectations on a child which are inappropriate for their age and stage of development.

It may also involve over protection, limiting exploration and learning opportunities and/or chances for normal social interactions. It also includes the child feeling frequently frightened or in danger, being bullied by peers or other children (e.g., child-on-child abuse) or witnessing the ill-treatment of others (e.g., domestic abuse).

Any child can be emotionally abused. Some children and young people are more vulnerable to abuse, including those with parents or carers who:

• are stressed and under pressure, and become emotionally unavailable to their children;
• are experiencing post-natal depression;
• may have unrealistic expectations about their child’s ability;
• have relationship problems and/or family arguments;
• are experiencing poverty, money problems or unemployment;
• are experiencing/perpetrating domestic abuse
• misuse drugs and alcohol;
• have mental ill health issues without sufficient support.

Why might emotional abuse be challenging to identify?

• Unlike some other forms of harm, emotional abuse does not often produce an urgent crisis that demands immediate decisions and actions.
• Professionals can assume emotional abuse only relates to parent and carer behaviours and fail to notice emotional abuse caused by others such as peers and adults who work with children. 
• Professionals can become used to how a child is presenting and lack professional curiosity about their experiences.
• It can be hard to look beyond individual incidents and consider the persistence and frequency of emotionally abusive parenting behaviour, especially when professionals work with a family for a long period of time.
• Professionals might be wary about making judgements on patterns of parental behaviour, particularly when considered to be culturally embedded or when associated with social disadvantages such as poverty or health conditions.
• The child may experience emotional abuse alongside other forms of abuse which takes professional attention away from the evidence of emotional abuse.

When working with parents and carers, practitioners should prioritise a child-centred approach, fostering partnerships to ensure understanding, support and safety.   

Remember:  

• Collaborative efforts are crucial, especially in cases of suspected harm.   
• Practitioners must engage effectively with diverse families, demonstrating empathy, respect and cultural awareness.   
• Communication should be clear, inclusive and accessible. Encouraging parental/carer involvement in decision-making and valuing their input is essential.   
• Involving families and communities in designing processes fosters a holistic approach to safeguarding children.   
• Continuous reflection and adaptation based on feedback from parents and carers enhance practice effectiveness.  
• Have you considered if: 
  
  * the setting’s safeguarding policy and any strategies related to emotional abuse are easy to understand and accessible to all parents and carers, with consideration given to things like literacy, language and disability?
  
  * the setting has ensured that all parents and carers know where to access up to date and evidence-based information about how to positively support their child’s development and the negative impact of emotional abuse? 
  
  * you are always proactive in your communication to those parents/carers who you have identified as vulnerable or who are experiencing a difficult time?